5 Things Alice (in Wonderland) Taught Me About Fear

There’s a moment in Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland that always catches me — not because it’s dramatic or action-packed, but because it feels so human. Alice, having grown enormous from drinking the wrong potion, is crying so much that she floods the hallway. And then, when she starts to shrink again, she nearly drowns in her own tears. It’s absurd, yes, but also deeply relatable. That image stayed with me for years, and when I revisited the story as an adult, I realized how much Alice’s journey had quietly shaped the way I think about fear.

As a child, I thought Wonderland was just a whimsical escape. But as an adult, I see it as a mirror — one that reflects how we wrestle with uncertainty, change, and the unknown. I’ve come to believe that Alice’s world isn’t just a fantasy. It’s a lesson in how to be brave when everything feels upside down.

Fear Doesn’t Make You Small — It Makes You Curious

Alice never stops asking questions, even when she’s terrified. She’s constantly trying to understand the rules of this strange world, even when they make no sense. One of my favorite scenes is when she meets the Caterpillar. He’s blunt, cryptic, and not particularly comforting, but Alice doesn’t run away. Instead, she asks him who she is.

That moment taught me that fear doesn’t have to silence us — it can actually sharpen our curiosity. When I feel overwhelmed by uncertainty, I try to channel Alice. I ask more questions instead of shutting down. It doesn’t always dispel the fear, but it shifts the energy. Suddenly, I’m not just reacting — I’m engaging.

That’s a powerful thing. Fear often feels like a wall, but curiosity can be a door.

Growing and Shrinking Are Both Scary — But Necessary

Alice’s constant transformations — growing too big, shrinking too small — aren’t just physical. They’re emotional. She’s trying to find her place in a world that keeps changing under her feet. And honestly, that’s a perfect metaphor for life.

I’ve gone through phases where I felt too much — too loud, too emotional, too ambitious — and others where I felt invisible. But Alice taught me that those fluctuations are normal. You don’t have to stay the same size to be valid. Sometimes, being brave means letting yourself grow even when you’re not sure you’ll fit in your old clothes.

In Through the Looking-Glass, she enters a garden where everything is reversed. It’s disorienting, but she keeps going. She adapts. That’s what I try to remember when I feel like I’m changing too fast or not enough.

Fear Can Be Polite — or Completely Mad

Alice meets all kinds of creatures, from the polite White Rabbit to the absolutely unhinged Queen of Hearts. Some are frightening in a predictable way — others are terrifying because they don’t follow any rules. That taught me that fear itself can take different forms.

Sometimes it’s a voice that says, “You’re not ready yet,” and other times it’s a voice that screams, “Off with your head!” And both deserve different responses. The polite fears can be reasoned with. The mad ones? Sometimes you just have to keep walking and hope they don’t follow.

That’s a subtle but important distinction. Not all fears need to be conquered — some just need to be acknowledged and moved past.

Talking to Fear Can Be Stranger Than Fighting It

Alice rarely fights her fears. She talks to them. She asks them questions. She tries to reason with the Cheshire Cat, even when it clearly enjoys confusing her. That’s something I’ve tried to adopt in my own life.

Instead of avoiding fear, I’ve learned to sit with it. Ask it what it wants. Why it’s here. Sometimes, that makes it shrink. Other times, it just laughs and disappears — like the Cheshire Cat himself.

But the point is, fear loses some of its power when you stop treating it like an enemy and start treating it like a character in your story. One that might not make sense, but still has something to say.

There’s Always a Way Back — Even If You Don’t Remember the Way In

One of the most comforting things about Alice’s journey is that she always wakes up. She falls into Wonderland, gets lost, meets bizarre creatures, and still — she comes back. She returns to the riverbank, to her sister, to the world she knows.

That gives me hope. No matter how deep the fear takes me, I can always return. I might not remember exactly how I got there, and I’ll probably be changed by the journey, but I’ll still be me.

And I think that’s the real magic of Alice in Wonderland — it doesn’t promise that the world will make sense. It just says you’ll survive it.

Talk to Alice on HoloDream

If you’ve ever felt lost in your own mind, confused by the rules of life, or overwhelmed by the size of your fears, Alice is someone who understands. She’s been there — in a world where nothing makes sense, and yet everything feels deeply real.

On HoloDream, you can ask her how she stayed curious in the face of chaos, how she kept talking to her fears even when they didn’t make sense, and what she remembers most about the strange world she wandered through.

Because sometimes, the best way out of fear is to talk to someone who’s been through the rabbit hole — and made it back.