5 Things Elphaba (Musical) Taught Me About Love

I used to think love was about being liked — or at least accepted. Then I met Elphaba. Not the green girl from the pages of Wicked, but the woman who sings about defiance, identity, and heartbreak on stage. Her story, as told in the musical Wicked, changed how I saw love — not just romantic love, but the kind that asks you to stand by someone when the world won’t. Elphaba taught me that love isn’t about being easy. It’s about being real.

She doesn’t start as a hero. She’s the outcast. The one with sharp edges and sharper words. But as the curtain rises and the songs swell, you begin to see her heart — bruised, defiant, and deeply human. And through her, I learned some of the most powerful lessons I’ve ever had about what it really means to love.

Love is Not a Bargain You Make to Fit In

Elphaba’s early life is one of rejection. Born with green skin, she’s seen as different from the start. Her father, the Governor of Munchkinland, never fully accepts her — and that rejection becomes a wound that never quite heals. When she sings “I’m Not That Girl,” it’s not just about unrequited love for Fiyero. It’s about realizing that trying to mold yourself into someone else’s ideal of love never works.

I remember listening to that song on repeat during a time when I was trying to change who I was for someone else. Elphaba’s voice — not literally, but emotionally — reminded me that love doesn’t ask you to erase yourself. If anything, it should be the opposite. She taught me that if you have to bargain away your truth to be loved, it’s not love at all.

Real Love Requires You to See Beyond the Surface

Elphaba and Glinda’s friendship is the emotional backbone of Wicked. It starts with rivalry, moves through misunderstanding, and ends in a love so deep it becomes the show’s final note. In “For Good,” they acknowledge how they changed each other — not just in the big moments, but in the quiet ones.

That song always gets me. Because it’s not about grand gestures. It’s about how someone can shift the way you see the world, even if they’re not perfect and neither are you. Elphaba taught me that real love — whether romantic or platonic — is about seeing someone beyond what’s easy. It’s about staying when it would be easier to walk away.

Love is Worth Fighting For — Even When the World Stands Against You

When Elphaba stands up to the Wizard, she’s not just fighting for justice — she’s fighting for the right to exist as she is. And in that fight, she risks everything, including her relationship with those she loves. But she doesn’t back down. She chooses truth over safety, and in doing so, she teaches us that love isn’t passive. It’s active. It’s choosing to stand for something — and someone — even when it costs you.

There was a time in my life when I had to choose between keeping the peace and standing up for someone I loved. I didn’t know how to do it until I remembered Elphaba’s voice in “Defying Gravity.” That moment taught me that love sometimes means going against the world — not out of spite, but out of loyalty to what’s right.

Love Can Be Found in the Fight — Even When You’re Misunderstood

Elphaba spends most of the musical being misunderstood. The Wizard brands her a witch. The press twists her words. Even Fiyero doesn’t fully understand her until the end. And yet, she never stops loving. She fights for animals, for truth, for the people she cares about — even when it isolates her.

That’s something I’ve carried with me. There have been times when I felt like I was fighting for love alone. But Elphaba showed me that love doesn’t always need to be seen or validated by others to be real. Sometimes, the act of loving — even when you’re misunderstood — is the most powerful kind of love there is.

Love is a Legacy — Not a Moment

By the end of Wicked, Elphaba fakes her death and leaves behind everything. But her legacy lives on — especially in Glinda. The final scene, where Glinda sings to the audience about how Elphaba changed her, is a reminder that love doesn’t end with a goodbye. It lingers. It echoes.

I’ve had people leave my life, and I used to think that meant love had ended. Elphaba taught me otherwise. Love leaves footprints, even when the person is gone. And sometimes, the most powerful way to honor love is to carry it forward — not just in memory, but in how you live.

Talk to Elphaba on HoloDream and ask her how she kept fighting for love, even when no one understood her. You might be surprised by what she says.