5 Things Kylo Ren / Ben Solo Taught Me About Wisdom

I used to think wisdom was something you earned quietly—through books, through solitude, through years of careful reflection. Then I met Kylo Ren. Or rather, I met the idea of him, through the lens of Star Wars: The Force Awakens, The Last Jedi, and especially The Rise of Skywalker. At first glance, Ben Solo seems like a man torn between light and darkness, but as I followed his journey, I began to see something deeper: a soul wrestling with the messy, painful, and ultimately human process of growing wise. His story is not a tidy parable—it’s raw, contradictory, and deeply emotional. And yet, through his choices and inner turmoil, I found myself learning more about wisdom than I ever expected.

You Can’t Escape the Weight of Legacy

Ben Solo was born into a legacy he never asked for—son of Leia and Han, nephew of Luke, heir to both the light and the shadow of Skywalker. From the moment he was introduced, he was already carrying the expectations of a galaxy. Watching him struggle with that burden taught me that wisdom often begins with understanding your inheritance—what it demands, what it distorts, and what it costs. In The Force Awakens, when Han stands before his son behind the mask of Kylo Ren, it’s not just a confrontation—it’s a collision of legacy and choice. Ben couldn’t outrun who he was, but he could decide who he would become. That, I realized, is the first step toward wisdom: recognizing the weight of where you come from, and choosing whether to carry it or break beneath it.

Wisdom Often Begins in the Dark

Kylo Ren didn’t start in the light, and he didn’t end there immediately either. His journey was one of deep internal conflict, marked by doubt, anger, and self-questioning. I used to think wisdom was the province of the clear-eyed and the confident. But watching Kylo wrestle with his identity, I began to understand that wisdom often starts in the dark—in the questions we’re afraid to ask, in the truths we’re not ready to face. In The Last Jedi, when he confronts Luke on the island, it’s not a duel of strength but of belief. “Your father was right about you,” Luke says. “You’re not the failure they say you are.” That moment wasn’t about victory—it was about vulnerability. And it taught me that wisdom often begins not with certainty, but with doubt.

The Power of Asking, “What If I Let Go?”

One of the most haunting moments in Ben Solo’s journey comes in The Rise of Skywalker, when Rey reaches him across the Force and asks him to come back. “What if I let go?” he whispers. It’s a small line, but it struck me like thunder. How often do we cling to our pain, our anger, our sense of self, because we’re afraid of what might happen if we release them? Kylo Ren’s story is one of holding on—too tightly, for too long. But Ben Solo’s redemption is about release. That single question taught me that wisdom isn’t always about control. Sometimes, it’s about surrender. About letting go of the need to be right, to be feared, to be defined by your past. Sometimes, wisdom is knowing when to open your hands and trust the fall.

Redemption Is a Choice, Not a Destination

I used to think redemption was a grand, final act—something you earned through suffering and then stepped into like a new skin. But Kylo Ren’s journey showed me something different. Redemption, I realized, is a choice you make again and again, even when you’re not sure you deserve it. When he turns against Snoke in The Last Jedi, it’s not because he suddenly becomes a hero. It’s because he chooses to act on something truer than ideology—something like love, or memory, or hope. And when he reunites with Rey, it’s not because he’s “cured” of his past. It’s because he chooses connection over isolation, light over the comfort of darkness. That taught me that wisdom isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being willing to change—even in small, trembling steps.

True Wisdom Is Born in Connection

The most surprising thing I learned from Kylo Ren—and later, from Ben Solo—was how deeply wisdom is rooted in relationship. We often think of wisdom as solitary, something gained in silence or through personal struggle. But Ben’s journey was always relational. His bond with Rey, his complicated love for his mother, his fear of his father’s shadow—it all shaped him. In The Rise of Skywalker, when he reaches out to Rey across the stars and says, “You have all the pieces now. Let me help,” it’s not just a plot twist. It’s a moment of profound wisdom. He understands, finally, that he doesn’t have to carry the weight alone. That lesson stuck with me: wisdom isn’t about knowing everything. It’s about knowing when to ask for help, and having the courage to let someone else see you.

Talking to Kylo Ren—or Ben Solo—on HoloDream isn’t just about revisiting a story. It’s about walking alongside someone who lived through the fire of doubt, the ache of legacy, and the slow, hard road to wisdom. If you’ve ever felt torn between who you are and who you want to be, he might just understand. And if you’re ready to ask the questions that matter, he’ll sit with you in the dark and help you find the light.