5 Things Marie Kondo Taught Me About Existence

There’s something disarmingly intimate about tidying up. I didn’t realize how much until I read The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up. It wasn’t just about folding socks or decluttering drawers—it was about how we carry things, both physically and emotionally. Marie Kondo’s work has always felt less like a cleaning manual and more like a spiritual guide to living. I came for the KonMari method, but stayed for the quiet wisdom that spilled into every corner of my life.

Over the years, I’ve revisited her books, watched her Netflix series Tidying Up, and even tried (and failed) to maintain the perfect vertical fold. But more importantly, I’ve found myself reflecting on the deeper lessons embedded in her philosophy. Here are five things Marie Kondo taught me—not just about organizing, but about existence itself.

## 1. Joy Is a Choice You Can Touch

Kondo’s famous question—“Does it spark joy?”—is often dismissed as a whimsical mantra for minimalists. But I’ve come to see it as an invitation to be intentional about what we allow into our lives. In Spark Joy, she describes how choosing objects that bring us joy can transform not just our homes, but our sense of self.

I tried this with my bookshelf. I didn’t just cull the unread books—I held each one and asked if it brought me joy. Some did, like the dog-eared copy of The Bell Jar that got me through college. Others didn’t, and letting them go felt oddly liberating. It wasn’t about discarding; it was about choosing what deserved a place in my life. That’s a radical act of self-awareness.

## 2. Rituals Ground You in the Present

In one of the most moving episodes of Tidying Up, Kondo helps a couple struggling with grief after losing a child. She guides them to honor their child’s belongings not by discarding them, but by treating them with reverence. It was a reminder that rituals—no matter how small—can be a way to connect with what matters most.

That moment changed how I approached my own rituals. I started lighting a candle every morning before I write. It’s not religious, not even particularly spiritual. But it’s a way of marking the start of something meaningful. Kondo taught me that rituals don’t have to be grand—they just need to anchor you in the now.

## 3. Gratitude Is the First Step to Letting Go

Kondo’s method always includes thanking objects before parting with them. At first, I thought it was a gimmick. Then I tried it. I thanked my old laptop before donating it, even though it had crashed more times than I could count. And I meant it. It had served me, even imperfectly.

This practice changed how I think about endings. In her memoir Joy at Work, co-authored with Scott Sonenshein, she writes about gratitude as a way to honor the role something played in your life—even if it no longer serves you. Saying thank you is not about sentimentality; it’s about closure. And that closure is what allows us to move forward.

## 4. Clutter Is a Cry for Attention

I used to think clutter was just laziness. Kondo taught me it’s often a symptom of something deeper—avoidance, fear, or even grief. In one episode of Tidying Up, she works with a woman who has piles of clothes in every room. As they sort through them, it becomes clear the clutter is tied to a painful divorce and a loss of identity.

That resonated with me. I had a drawer I avoided opening for months—bills, old notes, half-finished projects. When I finally sorted through it, I realized I was avoiding confronting unfinished parts of my life. Tidying became a mirror. What we let pile up around us often reflects what we’re not facing within.

## 5. True Simplicity Is Not About Less—It’s About Enough

Kondo doesn’t advocate stripping your life bare. She advocates for finding what matters and making space for it. In The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning, she praises the Scandinavian approach to decluttering not as a chore, but as a gift to those who remain.

This idea shifted my mindset. I used to think minimalism meant owning less. Now I think it means knowing when you have enough. Enough love, enough time, enough stuff. It’s a subtle but powerful difference. One that’s helped me be more content in the messiness of life.

Letting Go Is a Gift You Give Yourself

I still struggle with clutter. I still forget to fold clothes the KonMari way. But I carry her wisdom like a quiet compass. Marie Kondo taught me that how we live with our things is a reflection of how we live with ourselves. And sometimes, just sometimes, a folded shirt can remind you that you are enough.

If you’ve ever wondered how Kondo would respond to your own chaos, or what she might say about the clutter in your heart as much as your closet, there’s a place to ask. On HoloDream, she’ll sit with you in the mess and gently ask, “Does this bring you joy?”