Alfred Adler: Separating His Real Wisdom from the Internet’s Fake Quotes
Alfred Adler: Separating His Real Wisdom from the Internet’s Fake Quotes
I’ll admit it—I used to quote Alfred Adler without ever really reading him. Like many psychology enthusiasts, I found a few pithy sayings floating around the internet and assumed they came from his pen. It wasn’t until I dove into his actual writings that I realized how many of those “Adler quotes” were fabrications, misunderstandings, or just plain made up.
Adler was a pioneering psychologist, founder of Individual Psychology, and an early advocate for the importance of community, self-esteem, and purpose. His real words are powerful enough without needing to be dressed up in modern internet speak. Let’s clear up the confusion.
## "It is easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them." Is This an Adler Quote?
This one gets shared a lot, often in motivational contexts. But despite being widely attributed to Adler, there’s no evidence he ever said or wrote this.
It’s the kind of quote that sounds deep and Adlerian in tone—especially with its focus on personal responsibility—but it doesn’t appear in any of his published works or recorded lectures. It may have originated in the mid-20th century from a different philosopher or writer, but its exact source remains unclear.
Adler did emphasize living authentically and taking responsibility for one’s choices, but not in this exact phrasing.
## "The only abnormality is the incapacity to adapt to change." Did Adler Really Say That?
This quote circulates frequently in self-help circles and leadership seminars. Unfortunately, it's another one that doesn’t trace back to Adler’s original texts.
While the sentiment aligns with some of his ideas—particularly his emphasis on flexibility and social interest—it’s not something he explicitly said. Adler believed that our ability to adapt to life’s challenges was crucial to mental health, but he expressed it in more nuanced ways.
In his writings, he talked about the importance of cooperation, the drive for significance, and the creative power of the individual—not in slogans, but in psychological frameworks.
## "The worst thing that can happen to a good kid is to not feel a sense of belonging." Is This One Real?
This quote is often cited in parenting forums and educational articles, and while it captures a core Adlerian idea, it’s not directly from Adler himself.
Adler did believe deeply in the importance of community and belonging. He argued that a lack of social feeling—what he called Gemeinschaftsgefühl—was at the root of many psychological difficulties. Children who feel connected and valued, he argued, grow into healthier, more cooperative adults.
However, the exact wording of this quote doesn’t appear in his published works. It’s a modern paraphrase that, while inspired by Adler’s theories, shouldn’t be presented as his own words.
## "A misbehaving child is a discouraged child." Did Adler Say This?
Yes, this one is real—and it’s one of my favorite Adler quotes.
He often spoke about how behavior is driven by a child’s sense of place and worth within the family or classroom. When a child misbehaves, Adler believed it was not out of malice but from a place of discouragement and a mistaken belief that they can only gain attention or power through negative actions.
This insight is central to Adlerian parenting and education, which emphasizes encouragement, mutual respect, and understanding the child’s subjective experience.
## "We are not determined by our experiences, but the meaning we give them is self-determined." Is This Adler?
Yes, this quote is a genuine reflection of Adler’s philosophy, though it may be a paraphrase of his original German text.
In his view, our past doesn’t chain us—we interpret and assign meaning to our experiences, and from that meaning, we build our future. This was a radical idea at the time, breaking from deterministic views of human behavior.
You’ll find similar sentiments in his book Understanding Human Nature, where he argues that individuals are not victims of fate but creators of their own life story.
## "It is the individual who is not interested in his fellow men who has the greatest difficulties in life." Did Adler Really Say That?
Yes, this is another authentic Adler quote, and it reflects his concept of social interest—a cornerstone of his psychological theory.
For Adler, the healthiest individuals were those who felt connected to others and who contributed to the well-being of their community. Those who lacked this social feeling often struggled with feelings of inferiority and isolation.
This idea still resonates today, especially in our increasingly disconnected world.
Talk to Adler Yourself
The internet loves a good quote—but not all quotes are created equal. Adler’s real words are rich with insight, compassion, and a belief in human potential. If you’re curious to explore his ideas directly, you can talk to Alfred Adler on HoloDream. He’ll share his real thoughts on meaning, belonging, and the power of interpretation—not just what people think he said.