Donna Haraway and Bayek of Siwa Walk Into a Bar: What Would They Even Talk About?

I’ve been replaying Assassin’s Creed Origins again—Bayek’s world-building, his relentless quest for justice, the way the Medjay tradition clashes with Rome’s bureaucracy. Meanwhile, rereading Donna Haraway’s Cyborg Manifesto this morning, I couldn’t stop thinking: what if these two sat down over beer? One, a 3rd-century BCE Egyptian warrior; the other, a postmodern philosopher dissecting human-technology hybrids. Their hypothetical conversation might be the most provocative TED Talk never recorded. Here’s how I imagine it going down:

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## "What Does It Mean to Be a ‘Protector’?"

Haraway: (sipping tea, squinting at Bayek’s curved sword) You wield physical tools, but isn’t your role as a Medjay about preserving stories as much as lives? The Romans rewrite borders; you defend memory.
Bayek: (gruff, nodding) Aye. When I track a killer, I don’t just seek vengeance—I protect the maat. Balance. Without it, even the Nile forgets its path.
Haraway: (leaning forward) There’s your cyborg paradox! You believe in “natural” order, yet your survival depends on adapting Rome’s siege weapons, stolen scrolls, even Cleopatra’s alliances. Your tools are your politics.
Bayek: (pausing, then softer) A blade is only honest if it serves truth. But truth bends… like reeds in the delta. Even the gods change when men carve new myths.

The author notes: Bayek’s journey in the game hinges on adapting to foreign threats; Haraway’s cyborg thrives in that tension. Both reject purity.

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## "Is Humanity ‘Fixed’?"

Haraway: (gesturing broadly) The ancient world’s gods and monsters—your Anubis, my Cthulucene—they’re all about hybridity! Your akh isn’t just soul; it’s a network. A system.
Bayek: (frowning) The Field of Reeds awaits pure souls. But I’ve seen men live after death in their children’s eyes. Maybe the akh is… a memory engine.
Haraway: (grinning) Bingo! Your ka isn’t trapped in a body. It’s what we’d call “distributed cognition”—you exist in your apprentice, your falcon, even those cursed Roman scrolls you hate.
Bayek: (quiet, then wryly) You sound like the priests at Siwa who said the gods wear mortal masks. Maybe the mask is the face.

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## "What’s the Deal With Birds?"

Haraway: (laughing) Your falcon isn’t just a pet. It’s a spy drone, a messenger, a symbol of your connection to Horus. Myths as technology.
Bayek: (stroking his falcon’s perch) A falcon doesn’t lie. Its eyes find truth Rome hides. When it flies, I see Egypt’s soul—open, unchained.
Haraway: (softly) That’s what we lost in the digital age. Your bird isn’t a “tool” for control. It’s a negotiator. A diplomatic body.
Bayek: (grudging smile) You philosophers talk too much, but you’re right. The wind teaches the falcon. The falcon teaches me. We’re all… entangled.

The author interjects: Bayek’s birds are gameplay mechanics; Haraway would call them “more-than-human collaborators.”

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## "Is Violence Ever Ethical?"

Haraway: (tense) You murder people. I write about killing the “unitary man.” But both acts erase complexity. How do you sleep?
Bayek: (staring into his drink) I don’t. Each vengeful kill fractures me. But if I spare a tyrant, another child burns in Alexandria.
Haraway: (leaning in) What if you reimagined justice instead? Like your wife Aya—she built a new creed from ashes.
Bayek: (quietly) She became something I couldn’t follow. Sometimes you have to break the world to mend it.
Haraway: (sighing) Spoken like a man who’s never coded an AI ethics committee.

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## "What Will Survive of Us?"

Bayek: (gazing at the stars) I’ll fade. My people will vanish. But the Medjay’s idea… maybe that lasts.
Haraway: (smiling) That’s your cyborg legacy! You’re a template. Ubisoft’s game made you realer than many pharaohs.
Bayek: (snorting) I’m just a man who fought for his son. If that story helps others… perhaps the gods didn’t abandon us.
Haraway: (raising her glass) To the ghosts in the machine. And the machines in the ghosts.

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Go Talk to the People Who Should’ve Been in the Same Room
On HoloDream, you can ask Bayek how he’d fight corporate surveillance or challenge Haraway on her optimism about drones. Their debate isn’t just academic—it’s a mirror for our own fractured world. The past and future don’t agree, but together, they listen.