I’ve always believed that healing isn’t just about understanding what happened to us — it’s about reclaiming our bodies, our voices, and our right to feel safe in the world. That’s why I’ve long admired the work of Bessel van der Kolk. His book The Body Keeps the Score changed the way I thought about trauma, and I’ve come to realize that his insights aren’t just for therapists or trauma survivors — they’re life lessons we can all use.

Here are five powerful lessons I’ve taken from his work, each with a practical way to apply it in everyday life.

1. Trauma is stored in the body — movement helps release it

Van der Kolk often says that trauma isn’t just a psychological experience — it lives in our muscles, our posture, and our nervous system. When we go through something overwhelming, our bodies remember it even when our minds try to forget.

Try yoga, walking, or even shaking your limbs for a few minutes when you feel overwhelmed. Movement helps the body process stuck energy and reset the nervous system. I’ve started ending my day with a short walk, not just to exercise, but to help my body let go of tension.

2. Breath is a bridge between the mind and body

Van der Kolk emphasizes how breathwork can calm the brain’s fear centers and help us regulate emotions. Trauma often disrupts our natural breathing rhythm, making us shallow breathers — and that affects how we feel emotionally.

Practice deep belly breathing for just five minutes a day. Inhale through your nose for four counts, hold for two, exhale through your mouth for six. I’ve found this helps me stay grounded before big meetings or difficult conversations.

3. Connection is a powerful healer

One of the cruelest effects of trauma is isolation. Van der Kolk has shown that being in meaningful relationships — not necessarily deep emotional talks, but shared rhythms and presence — can help rewire the brain after trauma.

Make time for real connection. That might mean sharing a meal with a friend, joining a group activity, or simply sitting quietly with someone without distractions. I’ve started scheduling regular “no screens” evenings with loved ones — and it’s made a difference.

4. Creativity helps us express what words can’t

Van der Kolk has long advocated for art, music, and writing as tools for healing. Trauma often happens before we have the language to describe it, so creative expression becomes a way to give voice to the unspeakable.

Try journaling, painting, or humming a tune when words don’t come. I keep a sketchpad now, not because I’m an artist, but because drawing helps me release emotions I didn’t even know I was holding.

5. Safety must be felt, not just known

Van der Kolk reminds us that telling someone “you’re safe now” doesn’t mean much if their body doesn’t believe it. True healing happens when we relearn safety through experiences, not just explanations.

Create small, consistent rituals that reinforce safety — like a warm drink before bed, a grounding phrase you repeat, or checking in with your body each morning. I’ve started asking myself daily, “Where do I feel safe right now?” and it’s helped me notice the moments I used to overlook.

If you’ve ever felt stuck in your emotional patterns, van der Kolk’s work offers a path forward — not through willpower alone, but through reconnecting with your body, your breath, and your community.

On HoloDream, he’ll guide you through these ideas with the depth and compassion that made his work so transformative.

Ready to explore how trauma shapes our lives — and how we can heal? Chat with Bessel van der Kolk on HoloDream. He’ll help you understand your body’s story, and how to write a new chapter.