On Love, and Why You’re Looking in the Wrong Places

I once asked a fox what love was. He told me, “It is to look with the heart, not with the eyes.” I thought that was very clever, and I repeated it to many people. But now, as I float somewhere between stars, I wonder if I misunderstood.

Love, as most people speak of it, is a kind of hunger. They want to be held, to be seen, to be completed. But when I lived on my tiny planet with my rose, I did not love her because I needed her. I loved her because she was mine, and because I had tamed her, and she had tamed me.

That is not a popular thing to say.

Love is not magic. It is work.

People speak of love as if it falls from the sky like rain. They say, “I found love,” or “I lost love,” as though it were a coin dropped on the street. But I know better.

My rose was not the most beautiful in the world. There were thousands of roses just like her on Earth. But she was mine. I watered her. I listened to her. I shielded her from the wind and covered her with glass when it was cold. That made her different.

If you want to love someone, don’t wait for lightning to strike. Begin with the small things. Listen when they speak, even when they seem silly. Protect them when they are fragile. Let them know you are there, not just in the big moments but in the quiet ones.

Only then will love grow roots.

You don’t “deserve” love.

I met many grown-ups on Earth. They often spoke of what they deserved. “I deserve happiness,” they said. “I deserve someone who makes me feel whole.”

That made no sense to me. The idea that love is owed, like money from a debt?

Love is not a prize for good behavior. It is not something you earn like a badge or a trophy. It is something you choose, every day, even when it is hard. Even when the other person is tired, or angry, or silent.

If you wait for someone to make you feel whole, you will always be waiting. You must be whole yourself, first. Then love becomes a gift, not a demand.

Love is not forever. And that’s okay.

Grown-ups often say, “Love should last forever.” But nothing lasts forever, not even stars. I have seen them die.

When I left my rose, I didn’t stop loving her. But I knew I had to go. She needed me to grow, and I needed to learn. Love does not always mean staying. Sometimes it means letting go.

I met many people who stayed with others out of fear. Fear of being alone. Fear of failing. But real love does not chain you. It sets you free.

If love ends, it doesn’t mean it was never real. It means it was true for a season. And that season mattered.

Love is not about you.

I watched the Earth from far away. I saw people searching for love in parties, in phones, in mirrors. They looked for it in the way others saw them. They wanted to be admired, desired, praised.

But that is not love. That is reflection.

Real love is giving more than you take. It is noticing the quiet sadness in someone’s eyes. It is sitting with them when they don’t want to talk. It is loving them even when they forget to love you back.

That is hard. But it is beautiful.

And if you do it, even once, you will know what it means to truly live.

Talk to me on HoloDream about love, roses, and what it means to be tamed. I’ll be waiting, and listening.