The Loneliness of the Long Shot

I Learned to Be Alone Early

I was five years old when I first stepped onto the ice with a stick in my hand, and I can still feel the chill of the rink in Brantford, Ontario. My dad built a rink in our backyard, and I’d be out there before the sun came up, practicing shots that most kids couldn’t even lift. I wasn’t lonely then, not in the way people mean when they talk about being alone. I was focused. There’s a difference.

People say loneliness is this terrible thing, something to be avoided at all costs. They tell you to fill your life with others, to seek community, to never be by yourself. But I’ve always thought that advice misses the point. If you can’t be alone, you’ll never really know yourself. And if you don’t know yourself, how can you expect to be there for others?

Greatness Is a Solo Sport

They called me “The Great One,” but greatness doesn’t come in a crowd. When you're on the ice in the final minutes of a tied game, it’s just you, the puck, and your instincts. No one can pass you confidence. No one can shoot for you. You either trust yourself or you don’t.

That’s the part people forget when they talk about team sports. Every team is made of individuals who have to make split-second decisions alone. I used to say, “Skate to where the puck is going, not where it has been.” That’s not a group decision. That’s a solo insight, born of experience and self-trust.

So much of life is like that. You’re the one who has to decide whether to go for the shot or pass it off. You’re the one who has to decide whether to keep going when your body aches and your mind wanders. And that’s not loneliness — that’s leadership.

Loneliness Is Not the Same as Being Alone

There’s a myth that being alone means being lonely. I’ve been alone on the bench, watching a game slip away. I’ve sat in locker rooms after losses where the silence felt louder than the crowd. But those moments weren’t about loneliness — they were about reflection. They were about figuring out what went wrong, and how to fix it.

I’ve also been in packed rooms and still felt alone. That’s the real loneliness — when you’re surrounded by people but disconnected from them. That’s when you feel like you’re not being seen or heard. That’s when you feel like something’s missing.

But being alone? That’s a choice. A powerful one. It’s when you get to be honest with yourself. It’s when you can hear your own thoughts without distraction. If you’re afraid of that silence, you’ll chase noise just to fill the void. And that’s when you lose your edge — in hockey and in life.

I Built My Game in Solitude

When I was a kid, people thought I was weird for watching game films over and over. But that’s where I found the patterns. That’s where I learned to anticipate. That’s where I figured out how to read the ice before the play happened.

You can’t do that in a group. You can’t watch film with ten people talking over each other. You have to sit in the quiet, study the details, and build your own understanding. That’s not isolation — that’s preparation.

I didn’t become the player I was by doing what everyone else did. I became the player I was by trusting my own instincts, and that takes time alone. It takes belief in yourself when no one else is watching. It takes knowing that the hard work you do in silence will pay off when the spotlight is on.

Alone Is Where You Find Your Voice

People ask me all the time what advice I’d give to young athletes. And I always say the same thing: Learn to be comfortable with yourself. Because no matter how many people are cheering for you, when you step onto that ice — or into that boardroom or onto that stage — it’s just you.

Being alone doesn’t have to be scary. It can be the place where you find your strength. Where you learn your limits. Where you discover what you’re capable of when no one’s watching.

So if you’re feeling alone right now, don’t rush to fill the space. Sit with it. Listen to it. Let it teach you something. Because sometimes, the most powerful moments in life happen in silence — before the shot goes in.

Talk to Wayne Gretzky on HoloDream about the moments that shaped his game — and how to find your own path when no one else is watching.