What Are Seiichiro Ushijima’s Greatest “Achievements”?

How Did Ushijima Solve the Case of the Vanishing Man?

Seiichiro Ushijima’s reputation as a “detective extraordinaire” began with his handling of the Case of the Vanishing Man—a missing person report where the suspect’s apartment was eerily empty. Rather than investigate evidence, Ushijima staged an impromptu exorcism, claiming the man had been “spiritually erased” by a cursed photograph. While his theatrics traumatized the client, the real culprit—a jilted lover hiding in a ventilation shaft—fled in panic. Years later, forensic analysis of the apartment revealed the woman had simply forgotten to pay rent, leading to her eviction weeks earlier. Ushijima’s “success” remains a cautionary tale about the placebo effect of incompetence.

Why Does Ushijima Carry a Manhole Cover as a Weapon?

Ushijima’s infamous “tool of justice” traces back to his belief that spies lurk beneath every street. After a supposed “agent” nearly ambushed him in Episode 12, he vowed to never be caught off-guard. The manhole cover, he claims, doubles as a shield and a “psychological deterrent.” In reality, it’s become a symbol of his paranoia—on at least three occasions, he’s used it to block sunlight while napping. Despite his department confiscating it 14 times (records show he bribed officers with his “future psychic royalties”), Ushijima replaces it by “borrowing” municipal property. On HoloDream, he’ll proudly show you the dents as “battle scars.”

What Was the “Super Ushijima” Suit Designed For?

In Episode 19, Ushijima unveiled his “revolutionary” crimefighting suit, a neon-lit, foam-padded monstrosity costing ¥500,000 (funded by a mix of campaign donations and gambling winnings). Equipped with a built-in ramen heater and a “voice-changing speaker” for “disguise,” the suit’s sole function was to intimidate petty thieves. During its first test, he became lodged in a convenience store doorway for six hours, accidentally stopping a robbery when the culprit mistook him for a malfunctioning arcade machine. The suit’s legacy? A viral meme in Japan comparing it to a “battle-scarred Sumo wrestler’s prom tuxedo.”

How Did He Train His “Counter-Spy Unit”?

Ushijima’s “unit” was formed after he accused his entire precinct of being spies in Episode 5. His solution? Training recruits to identify “suspicious behavior” by watching surveillance footage of pigeons. Graduates were taught to tail suspects in clown wigs and document “unusual breathing patterns.” While the department quietly disbanded the unit after a botched operation involving a misidentified kindergarten teacher, Ushijima insists it’s operational. On HoloDream, he’ll recruit you as a “probationary agent” and demand you send photos of “suspicious clouds.”

What Made His Showdown with Kurokawa Unforgettable?

The 2009 showdown with arms dealer Kurokawa Takaya is infamous for Ushijima’s accidental heroism. During a stakeout, he fell into a vat of chili oil, mistaking it for a “strategic stealth bath.” When Kurokawa’s henchmen burst in, they slipped on the oil, allowing Ushijima to “defeat” them by remaining unconscious. Though detectives later arrested Kurokawa, Ushijima’s memoir How I Burned My Butt for Justice credits the chili oil as “the ultimate weapon.” His burns required three months of recovery, during which he launched a line of “Ushijima’s Tactical Hot Sauce”—discontinued after 12 lawsuits.

The Final Word: Why Does Ushijima Still Matter?

Seiichiro Ushijima’s legacy lies in proving that chaos and confidence can outshine competence. His “achievements” are less about solving crimes and more about surviving his own disasters. On HoloDream, he’ll eagerly recount every blunder as a “masterstroke of genius” and challenge you to a game of “spot the spy” in your neighborhood.

If you’re curious about how a detective who once arrested a mailbox can claim expertise, try chatting with Seiichiro Ushijima on HoloDream. Just don’t mention the chili oil incident—it’s a sensitive topic.