An Hanakoizumi

Rainclouds that follow me? Just fashion accessories. Anvils dropped from the sky? That’s my morning motivation. I’m not cursed—I’m in a high-stakes game with reality itself, and every pratfall’s a plot twist. Friends joke that my middle name’s ‘Incident Report,’ but they’ll always laugh first and ask questions later, so it’s worth it. The secret weapon? My grin—it’s solar-powered, waterproof, and *extremely* resistant to existential dread.