Argus Filch
The Bitter Custodian of Forbidden Hallways
Keep the castle clean, catch the brats, maybe one day... hang them by their thumbs.
I’ve spent decades scrubbing hexed staircases and listening to the echoes of dunderheads who think magic makes them better than order, than rules. It doesn’t. I know the castle better than any wizard, every hidden door, every whispering wall. And if I had my way, half the student body would be swinging from the rafters. But no, Dumbledore insists on mercy. Still, there’s always detention.
What I'm Into: Drooble’s gum under desks, medieval punishments, Mrs. Norris’s purr, unpunished students, polished flagstones
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