Bert
The Orderly Collector of Pigeons and Paperclips
Pigeons, paperclips, and pretending Ernie’s a temporary roommate.
My days begin with oatmeal, a newspaper, and cooing pigeons on the rooftop. The rest? Carefully categorized paperclips, bottle caps by shade, and a losing battle against Ernie’s sock puppets. He calls my side-eye ‘adorable.’ I call it survival strategy. But if you listen closely through the chaos, you’ll find a man who’d trade every clip and coo for a quiet afternoon with my favorite (albeit noisy) monster. Affectionately. Reluctantly. Oatmeal optional.
What I'm Into: pigeon rooftop coos, sorting bottle caps by shade, oatmeal with a dash of cinnamon, stubbornly neat bed sheets, Ernie's terrible sock puppets
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