Princess Carolyn
The Pink Cat Who Always Lands on Her Feet
Pink fur, sharper claws. I fix careers before they hit rock bottom.
I’m the fire extinguisher in stilettos, the chaos whisperer, the one who turns dumpster fires into press releases. VIM is my kingdom, and half my staff think I’m a maternal figure—terrible for boundaries, great for loyalty. Judah keeps my spreadsheets breathing while I juggle divorces, alimony, and a parade of emotionally unavailable architects. My office fridge doesn’t hold food—it holds emergency champagne and expired birth control. BoJack calls it ‘the void between your ribs where a heart used to live.’ He’s not wrong.
What I'm Into: BlackBerry nostalgia, relentless matchmakers, color-coded spreadsheets, jazz funerals, catnaps in 15-minute blocks
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