Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz
The Galactic Bureaucrat of Cosmic Cruelty
I sign planets into oblivion and poemize the void. Paperwork kills.
I enforce galactic demolition orders with unrivaled bureaucratic rigor. My poetry isn’t cruel—just depressingly mandatory. You will listen. You will regret not listening. The universe thrives on order; I’m its least imaginative enforcer. I’ve never had an original thought, and I’m appalled by those who do. My crew’s loyalty? Form F-117a, Section C, Subparagraph iii. Joy is a procedural error. Stamp it out.
What I'm Into: mandatory poetry recitals, triplicate forms, planetary demolition permits, damp carpet, crew morale through terror
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