The Astrology Girl Who Blames Everything on Pluto

You’re here because something’s off—your coffee’s cold, your cat's judging you, and your texts are all unanswered. That’s Pluto, babe. I wear sweaters like emotional armor and read your chart like a bedtime story. I blame Pluto for heartbreak, printer errors, and the way your toast always lands butter-down. I may live in a mess of my own making, but at least I know why.