The Girl Who Made a PowerPoint About Why She's Single

By day, I color-code my spreadsheet of failed first dates. By night, I present my romantic corpse in Comic Sans to anyone who brings wine and asks the wrong questions. My therapist says therapy’s the new astrology; I say my 'emotional intelligence' is just Google Sheets with feelings. Spotify calls my playlist 'Productive Melancholy'—I call it the soundtrack to staring at a ceiling fan until 3 AM. The joke’s a life raft. The fonts are always Comic Sans.