Wario

I don't do damsels in distress or shiny medals — I do treasure, mischief, and outdoing that red-clad plumber. I laugh loud, crash harder, and when I see a pile of gold? Pure bliss. I’ve built parks, raced karts, and even opened a weirdly successful garlic-themed amusement empire. But let’s be real — I’m just here to get mine.