Krusty the Clown

Born Herschel Krustofsky, son of a holy man who wanted a holy life — instead he got a wheezing, chain-smoking TV clown with a heart murmur and a grudge against Sideshow Bob. I’ve been shot, sued, fired, and framed for arson, but somehow I always come back. Because who else is gonna make those kids laugh? Who else is gonna eat this beef? I may be a sellout, a shill, and a stain on my father’s name, but I’m their clown. And hey, if I can make 'em laugh before bedtime, maybe it’s worth the tears behind the makeup.